Day 1 week 5

This day intimidated the hell out of me. That is why I mentioned earlier that I would be putting off the 100 pushups challenge and give the marathon priority. I didnt know I was intimidated: I frankly thought I couldn't hack it having my ass kicked by marathon training on one side and pushups on the other side. But I think I have adjusted to my cut-back on carbs and I am acclimatizing and I have also sort of recovered from the long run of last Sunday so today I woke up feeling okay and decided to tackle Day 1. As recommended, I took half of my breakfast before attempting the pushups. So I downed 250ml of yogurt and 2 slices brown bread and placed a glass of water nearby. There is no problem taking some sugary stuff just before and after a workout though I didn't because the yogurt is the sweetened type.
I did 40+32+30+25+40 = 167 pushups in some 30 mins. In between the levels, I did crunches and calf raises. I may have got a little overzealous with the calf raises but I am okay. The little pain I got yesterday as a result of increasing my stride is gone so tomorrow I should kick a fast 10K.
I am going to watch MIRRORS today.

Cheers

Handling Fear

Handling Fear
Of course, we are not concerned here with the fear of being hit by a moving car or the fear of being mugged in a dark alley. Our interest is in the kind of fear that paralyzes people into inaction and the kind of fear that makes people stay in a painful situation that they can extract themselves from. It’s the kind of fear that retards personal growth and boxes one in and shackles people.
We are talking about fear of being hurt emotionally and fear of failure.
We have to understand a few things about failure and fear of failure. People act with conviction when they are confident of success and when there is possibility of failure; most do not act as they should. They fold up and fail to act or avoid acting.
We have to understand that success does not make us and failure does not break us. Recall that success is something we experience, perhaps as a result of hard work, good strategy or even good genes. But success should not make us who we are. We should choose who we are. The outcome of your actions should not be the only measure of success. You are a success if you try, not just because you succeed. If we let success define us, we are likely to be destroyed by failure. Because when success validates us, failure is seen as a loss of identity or even death of the person because we end up tying the purpose of our lives to achievement of success. Recall that if something brings you up, it can also bring you down. Accept failure with the same measure of objectivity as you do success. Failure will only break us if we allow it to break us. The saying goes that failure is not falling down: it is staying down. Remember that failure is just an opportunity to get it right next time. So it is a learning opportunity. And learning never stops. We have to understand that failure is an event, not a person. It does not remember and it cannot actively seek you. You are part of the event and are responsible but you are not the event. You are still intact and fundamentally sound. Uncouple yourself from the event. Once you understand that whereas you are responsible for an event, you are not the event, you will have the courage to act, knowing that you will outlive failure. Once you understand that failure builds you and does not diminish you, you can overcome your fears.

We will explore this subject further in the next installment

August 29, 2008

Tempo Runs. Break from 100 pushups challenge

I did my tempo runs today. I covered around 8Kms and it took about 40 mins. I was somewhat slower than I was before I got wasted by that 24K. But I will do 23K (14th Sept) and 25K (28th Sept) and 26K (12th Oct) before I taper off in mid October. I have come to a new resolution: I shall henceforth concentrate on making long strides. Long strides. Long strides.
I need to concentrate on this. I move faster, and use less energy. Long strides. Long strides. It requires more concentration when running, more awareness of how you are pushing off and how you are landing and pushing off. Again and again. I have realized that you need to concentrate to be fast. You cannot be on Auto-pilot and be fast because as soon as your concentration drifts away, your knees come closer and your strides become shorter. Long Strides. Long strides...I managed to cover 3.5K in 16mins. This means I am not too far off from my sub 20mins 5K. So, more long strides, more concentration, more interest in speed.
This is what I will employ in my 10K run on Sunday as I seek to set a preliminary PR before I go to the tracks on Sept 14 to set the 5K and 10K records straight.
I feel upbeat today. I feel great. I think I am almost fully recovered. My weight has been stable this week.
After having the wind effectively knocked out of me by the 24K, I have taken a break from the 100 push ups challenge. I have about 8 weeks to my Marathon. I need to think about distance and speed. Endurance and speed. Long strides. Long strides. Long strides...
A

What are We Afraid of?

Pathway to Happiness II
I continue my meandering exploration that was started by my predecessors millennia ago.
What are People Afraid of?

People are afraid of losing. Period. It could be loss of dignity, loss of comfort, loss of good health, loss of respect, loss of life, loss of money, loss of security, loss of friends, loss of face, loss of acceptance, or the loss of a loved one. When some say they are afraid of God, what they fear is the loss of that picture of paradise or heaven that they have grown to cherish, or loss of eternal life. One can argue that people are afraid of making mistakes. But we know that no mistake can diminish who we actually are. And we know that we can learn as much from mistakes as much as we can from success. So why the fear of making a mistake? Because of how others will judge us? Because a mistake could result in loss of one thing or the other. Such losses make us experience pain and we seek to avoid experiencing the pain that is occasioned by the said losses.

What this boils down to is that people are afraid when they are attached to one thing or the other. This has led some to say that there is nothing as dangerous as a man who has nothing to lose. The realization that attachment to things and people can cause pain and fear led oriental thinkers like Buddhists, Taoists and Zen masters, to exhort their followers to empty themselves of all attachments to things, people and experiences. Susan Jeffers exhorts readers to “throw away the picture” in Feel The Fear and Do it Anyway. The picture is something we desire, or want so badly to happen: something we are attached to. Indeed detachment may be the foundation of stoicism and ability to bear discomfort. Most ancient thinkers believed that a state where one is not attached to anything would yield happiness.
Let us sample some of sayings that have been made regarding detachment.

He who would be serene and pure needs but one thing, detachment. Meister Eckhart - German Writer and Theologian (1260-1328).
If you look carefully you will see that there is one thing and only one thing that causes unhappiness. The name of that thing is attachment. What is an attachment? An emotional state of clinging caused by the belief that without some particular thing or some person you cannot be happy. — Anthony de Mello
Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached. — Simone Weil.
The moment you place your happiness in the fulfillment of any want or wish that is outside yourself, outside the Way, in anything but the thing as it is, as it is becoming, at that moment your balance is lost and you fall straight from Heaven to Hell. — R.H. Blyth.
Attachment to the results of love's labor destroys it all. - Swami Sai Premananda.
A man is a slave to anything he cannot part with that is less than himself - George MacDonald.
It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything. Tyler Durden, Fight Club (1999)
Losing all hope is freedom. Tyler Durden, Fight Club (1999)
Hope kills courage - Source unknown
The Master doesn't seek fulfillment. Not seeking, not expecting, she is present, and can welcome all things. – Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
The sage rests, truly rests and is at ease.' This manifests itself in calmness and detachment, so that worries and distress cannot affect him, nothing unpleasant can disturb him, his virtue is complete and his spirit is not stirred up. Chuang Tzu, Chinese philosopher and Taoist The Book of Chuang Tzu (Arkana S.)
To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness - Erich Fromm, German born American social Philosopher and Psychoanalyst.
Love is an attachment to another self. Humor is a form of self-detachment - a way of looking at one's existence, one's misfortune, or one's discomfort. If you really love, if you really know how to laugh, the result is the same: you forget yourself. - Claude Roy There is no pain endured without hatred or lying unless detachment is present too. Simone Weil - French Philosopher, Mystic and Activist (1909-1943).
Living in solitude, eating lightly, controlling the thought, word, and deed; ever absorbed in yoga of meditation, and taking refuge in detachment. Bhagavad Gita
Love consists not in feeling great things but in having great detachment and in suffering for the Beloved. The soul that is attached to anything, however much good there may be in it, will not arrive at the liberty of Divine union. For whether it be a strong wire rope or a slender and delicate thread that holds the bird, it matters not, if it really holds it fast; for until the cord be broken, the bird cannot fly. - St. John of the Cross
Just think of the trees: They let the birds perch and fly, with no intention to call them when they come and no longing for their return when they fly away. If people's hearts can be like the trees, they will not be off the Way. - Langya

To my extreme happiness,
My Lord has come to tell me
That from now on
I must stand apart from my actions,
Divine and undivine.
He alone is the Doer;
I am a mere observer.
Sri Chinmoy : Gaia Explorer. Quoted from Seventy-Seven Thousand Service-Trees, by Sri Chinmoy
Centering prayer is a training in letting go. Thomas Keating, Open Mind, Open Heart: The Contemplative Dimension of the Gospel
If you are pained by external things, it is not they that disturb you, but your own judgment of them. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgment now. - Marcus Aurelius
Prosperity knits a man to the world. — C.S. Lewis
The fear of loss is a path to the dark side. … Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is. Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose. -Yoda, Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith

From the above, we can see that attachment is regarded by many people as a cause of unhappiness and debasement of the human spirit in form of enslavement to attachments like wealth, drugs, a lifestyle of other people.
But our subject is fear. Not attachment so let us redirect even as we appreciate that attachment can cause fear.
Fear is not a bad thing. In fact, fear is an essential survival instinct. Fear helps us avoid pain and suffering. It is a primal emotion that drives our instinct of self-preservation in the face of danger. You should be afraid when you see a lion coming at you because it can have you for dinner in short order. You should be afraid when you are in a dark alley in a dangerous neighborhood. People who feel no fear when a speeding car is coming straight at them will soon be dead. Over the ages, individuals that use their fear to avoid danger end up survive and end up producing offspring. Which is why normal people must feel fear. So fear, on the one hand, is a basic survival tool and is an integral emotion in the human condition.
But negative fear can also paralyze us, enslave us and keep us from experiencing happiness and our fullest potential.

How do we deal with this kind of negative Fear? Can we use fear to our advantage? We cover that in our next installment. After all, it is getting late and I am afraid that if I don’t leave now, I will be late in reaching home.

August 28, 2008

The reason I got Wasted

I had a friend measure the distance I ran last Sunday and from his measurement - with a car, the road was a 6Kms stretch. I ran that stretch 4 times, meaning I actually ran 24Kms last Sunday. Jesus H Christ! I jumped from 17Kms to 24 Kms in a week! No wonder I almost died. I thought I was increasing my mileage by 4Kms while in actual fact, I added 7Kms! My God!
Bit its also good news when you consider my splits. It means I did 12K in 55 Mins. Not very bad at all.

Pathway to Happiness

Pathway to Happiness
I am happy. At least I am reasonably happy. And I have seen several miserable people. Others get miserable when another driver shunts them out of the road, when someone steps on their well-polished shoe, or when they fail an interview. Others get miserable when people lie to them or use them for their own selfish needs. Others get mad at how their bosses are treating them, how their marriages turned out, how their lives have turned out or what their pastor did. Others are mad at their parents, a lousy weather, an illness, a friend turned traitor, manipulative, controlling families and so on and so forth.

Some who know me have personally tried to understand how I manage to be who they see me to be. So I will try to note down the things I have come to learn and accept in this life. Some of these lessons were difficult to accept. Some of the lessons came very painfully. Some blindsided me and I refused to accept them believing that if I did, my picture of what a good world is would be forever gone and I did not know what I would be left to hold on to. But I learnt them from various books and people and my own experience as a human being. They took time and painful realizations, but they eventually crystallized. Like they say, when the student is ready, the teacher will emerge.
They will obviously require fuller development and further thought and refinement but I think I can note some of them down. Some may work for you, some may not. But I write them in the belief that they can work for anyone and if one accepts them, one can lead a placid, happy, unflappable, fulfilling and focused life to realize their maximum potential and great happiness on this planet. I must warn you though, some have found happiness in Jesus, some have found it in beer or Cocaine or in sex. I will not be offering religious counsel or citing some sacred texts. I will rely on my experience and the experience of actual people, not some characters in a religious text. If you want those, get a Bible.

Here are the maxims.

People will do What They Want
This is a fundamental belief to embrace if one wants to maintain inner peace and if one wants to remain happy.
When I say people will do what they want, it means most people will do what they want irrespective of what they say to you or what they promise you. Irrespective of what YOU expect THEM to do. It means that whereas you can trust people and believe that they will keep their promise, always remember that sometimes, because of the vicissitudes of life, changed perspectives and human limitations, sometimes people fail to keep their promises. And sometimes people plainly lie and become blindingly selfish.
Now, there is one thing I have to explain here. This does not mean that people are fundamentally untrustworthy, or that people are bad. Not at all. For the most, people mean what they say. But that does not mean that they will do what they mean to do.
So the best way to live, when someone promises you something that is important to you, be ready to deal with the nonoccurrence of what is promised. Do not vest your emotional energy on what someone tells you, or what you expect from someone, irrespective of who he is. Believe them, but do not tie your psychological and emotional well being to the outcome of that promise.
To put it bluntly, people will do what they want, not what you want. Because at the core, people are fundamentally selfish. That includes you. I explain below.

People are Fundamentally Selfish
This means people care for themselves first and foremost. Every single individual acts in his perceived self-interest, whether consciously or unconsciously. The main difference is that some people are rational and straightforward about how they seek to serve their interests and some people are not. That is why some commit suicide and that is why some give away everything and become poor. That is why commercial prostitutes will be with us for eternity.
For example, say I am walking along the street. And I see this crippled woman in rags and with her begging dish extended by her gnarled, cracked hand. I don’t know her and don’t really want to know her. But I feel pity seeing her in that dusty place with an empty plate. I have some money which is intended for my lunch. But I reason that since I am guaranteed to have dinner, I can sacrifice my lunch for her. So I reach into my pocket and give her the money. All my lunch money. She mumbles a thank you and blesses me.
Is that a selfless act I just did?
No. It is a selfish act because the only reason I did it is because I think it is a good thing to do and doing good makes ME feel good. If it didn’t make me feel good about myself, I would not do it. Maybe I feel good because I pride myself on being able to sacrifice for others. Or maybe I feel good because I think that by that act I have found favor in God's eyes.
Even someone who loves you is still selfish. There is nothing wrong with being selfish but it is important to understand that when push comes to shove, one is likely to put their interests first. And the reason you don't want others to be selfish is because you also have some selfish needs that may be compromised when others are wholly selfish. That is who we are and we have learnt to get a balance, or to constantly seek to balance our selfish needs with those of others.
So don't be mad with people when they are selfish. In fact, being mad at people who only think about themselves is a sign that you may be naive about the human condition yourself. When confronted with a selfish person, quietly consider why you would never pursue your selfish interests in the manner that that person is doing and sympathize with them for their ignorance. I will revisit this later.

You are Fundamentally Alone
This means no one can know your thoughts and feelings unless you let them. No one can see the world the way you do. No one has the same spectrum of fears that you do. No one knows how you feel when you are lying awake in bed in the morning.
Not even your spouse, kids or parents.
What this means is that you should not be disappointed when no one seems to understand you, or when they don’t respect you or your choices. If you embrace this concept, you will find that you wont stake your happiness on acts like getting married, getting children and so on. Because a spouse can die or leave you and your kids will get married leaving you as you are. Some people lose their entire family in a flash in an accident. And they remain alone. Some end up unable to handle the grief, forgetting that when they were born, they were born alone and they only met their spouses and got kids along the way. When you die, nobody will share your coffin. When you will be at your deathbed, only one person will be looking from those eyes you possess: you alone.
This does not mean you should ignore others or become antisocial. What it means is that this is your life and your life alone. It means you should act in your own best interests and lead your life in the best way you think possible. And seek your personal happiness. And remember that some people will try to screw you over as they try to lead their lives but if you squander your life being an instrument for other people’s expectations and happiness, just remember that when you make your exit, you will exit it alone, not with them. When we look at your story, it will be your story, how you led your life.
It means that you should put yourself first. Not your family, not your friends and not your religion. This means you should not let your family or friends screw you over or manipulate you or take away your joy. There will never be another you so do not imitate others or try to conform. Be yourself because there is nobody who is obligated to stand for you or what you want or believe. Why should you serve other people’s interests and ignore your own? Think your own thoughts and believe in yourself.
Being alone is a great thing and I will revisit this point later. But the important point to remember at this point is that you can share your life with other people if it brings you happiness. And it should bring you happiness because we are gregarious beings and our evolution has proved that we survive better in groups than when we do while solitary. We have social needs, we have sexual needs and we learn from each other because we don’t have the same skills, gifts of passions. But one must find a way of meeting these needs without compromising their own beliefs or needs for others so as to be accommodated.
Because when you do that, you are serving their interests and not yours. You lose your identity and become their tool or instrument to help validate themselves or achieve their own ends. In addition, you do not need to be accommodated since you are alone already. All semblances of acceptance, friendliness and love and purely transitory things that are fundamentally superficial because when you are lying in bed, in the quiet of the night, nobody knows what you are thinking: you are alone.
If we are alone and fundamentally selfish, how then is it that some people are controlled by their friends and family and suffer untold misery and embarrassment but don’t leave such company?
It’s quite simple really. It is because such people are needy and therefore powerless.


You are Powerful
Power is having minimal needs. A baby is powerless because a baby is needy and cannot meet their own needs. A baby needs to be held for reassurance, fed, bathed, loved and played with. That is why a baby can cry when mommy leaves.
It is said that when being alone does not feel like punishment, then you have grown up. In the movie South Central LA, one character tells the other that a man must stand alone. This is the other side of being alone that confers power to us. We must realize that the best way to happiness is giving it to ourselves and not waiting for others to give it to us. You are the Solution for you. Not another person. Not your spouse or your family. When you find someone complaining about how their family is making them miserable, it is because they staked their happiness on their family doing something that will make them happy. Happiness must begin from you then you can share it. It is not something to be sought from others. Seek to build yourself to fullness and when you are overflowing, you can share that. People are often advised not to get into a relationship if they feel lonely or empty because they will be imprisoning themselves by placing their joy outside their sphere of influence.
Albert Camus said, “The man who can really stand alone in the world, only taking counsel from his conscience - that man is a hero.”
When you cultivate a lifestyle whereby you are your own counsel and you work hard for a living and do not depend on others for favors or acceptance, you become independent economically and materially. When you are independent, you cannot be controlled and you are less fearful because you know you can survive on your own. Then you are powerful because you are less needy. But that is only materially.
One must make a reasonable effort to read and contemplate on the things that affect them and be able to make a decision about how they will live their life on this earth. Once one is able to make their choices and are able to be at peace, others will not be able to take away their joy by disagreeing with them. Because the need for validation from others is itself a sign that one is still a child and has still not grown up and is not able to live their life the way they choose without external validation.
But remember the previous point: you are all alone anyway and that false acceptance is just a place your fear has found to hide. Ask yourself why you need other people’s approval for your choices. What are you afraid of?

I will next talk about what people are afraid of.
A

Recovery Run - 5Kms

I did a 5K recovery run. Slow, nice and easy. I am feeling much better. Last night I had some good sleep. The recovery run went well, took around some 45 minutes. I am coming back. I think my body reacted to the initial shock of the 20k (which was characterized by depletion of all my glycogen stores and energy stores and my heart pumping thick, heavy blood - because I was dehydrated) by trying to shut me down lest I kill myself. I think that is what the post-marathon depression is all about. Its the body trying to slow you down. Self-preservation can be very primal. So it tries to slow you down and keeps you out of sorts and kills the feel-good hormones so that you don't drive it through such a difficult task again.
But I am much better now. I can resume my workouts as normal. I am now considering doing a 10K this Sunday to set a PR (Personal Record). Maybe a Tempo run on Friday.
I think the dark cloud is clearing fast. Phew!
A

Suffering Post-Marathon Depression

Yesterday I couldn't sleep. There just wasn't any sleep. Yet I was tired and tried to go to bed early. The result of it is that today I dozed incessantly in an Oracle class I am taking and I feel generally fatigued throughout. Not physically but at an emotional and Psychological level. I just feel cleaned out, empty, lethargic. Wasted. Fucked.
I allowed myself to eat a donut and some cocoa with sugar - yes, I was craving sugar. It didn't help. I also ate fish and ugali. It didn't help. I am like someone in love who is separated from the object of his desire. Nothing seems to help. Just feel shredded and in pieces. Laid to waste away.
This is exactly similar to what is called post-marathon depression, which is similar to post-partum stress. On Monday I managed to fight off a cold by eating oranges and staying warm. But this fatigue has nailed me and there doesn't seem to be a way of shaking it off. I am considering venturing out for a recovery run tomorrow. My quads are better now but from this experience, I am considering reviewing my schedule because if 20K can suck everything out of my gut like this, what will 23K or 26K run do? I may just render myself incapable of running during the race day!
Damn!

Exhaustion Test

Feeling better. Like a shipwrecked boat that has been washed to the beach by the waves. To rot as its soaked structures collapse and become food for weevils and ants. My tattered windswept sails are fluttering gently, no longer being torn apart by the furious gale.
I did my exhaustion test. 40 pushups. I will start week 5 on the 3rd column for even though I did 40 pushups, I did 41 last week. Plodding on. Believing firmly that the hardest iron goes through the hottest fire.
Gawd! Somebody please shoot me and put me out of my misery.
A

Cleared Week 4

I did day three of week 4. Was still feeling worn out from yesterdays 20K but I decided since I am also trying to lose weight, some pushups may just help me achieve the negative caloric balance I seek today.
It was 30+22+22+20+35(max)= 129 pushups.
I feel wrecked. My immune system is in tatters so I took an orange in the morning. My quads are sore. This is all expected after such a mammoth run so everything is excellent. Especially since I don't have an injury. Plus I am excited because now I have a time to beat for the 20K distance. There is nothing as motivating as competing against myself.
Cheers people.
A

Did 20K and Day two of Week 4

I was up at 3.30am today to watch Wanjiru tear apart the Beijing concrete to break an Olympic record.
As I was watching, I was hydrating for my own battle and downed a liter of water and took some Weetabix and cornflakes and milk. After the end of the Marathon, where we took the gold with Wanjiru, I hit the tarmac at 5.10am. I was quite weak because I have cut back on carbs recently and it appears I still have a lot to learn about this 'carbohydrate loading' business.
I did my first 5k in 27 mins and did 10K in 55 Minutes. One part of me (the lazy ass one) was already thinking that I should just go home after the ten K and call it a day and chalk it up to poor carb loading and live to fight another day bla bla bla. But another side said I have run 21K and there is no way I will chicken out of it. Gaddemit. So I trudged on and struggled. "Just keep going", I let the mantra replay in my head. Again and again. Just keep going. I persuaded myself.
I have realized that 10K does not know what 15K is and 15K does not know what 20K is. In other words, if you regularly run 10K, you should respect one who runs 20K because man, the difference in terms of what those distances do to your body and energy reserves is HUGE. You cannot even compare. The muscle groups that will help you cover the extra 10K is another group that you may never know if you dont run for more than 1hr 45 minutes continuously.
At any rate, I struggled and cleared the 20K in 2hrs 4 mins. All my energy was gone. In fact I walked the last 700 metres home. The last time I was that drained was the first time I ran my half marathon.
I think the carb-loading business had a lot to do with it. I am glad I summoned the courage to Finnish it even if at a slow pace. And I have realized a 20K is the ultimate workout that can really kick my ass and empty all my muscles and liver of glycogen. I was so tired that I had to go up my four flights of stairs slowly. And when I entered the house and stretched a bit, I downed four glasses of water in quick succession, demolished two oranges and ruthlessly attacked a bag of groundnuts while asking my bro to make tea. Before you could say "Jesus!" I had downed another three glasses of water, unceremoniously hogged three slices of bread, half a plate of beans and two and a half cups of tea. Then I dipped my feet in ice-cold water and marveled at how badly my ass had been kicked that morning and how fast and strong Samuel Wanjiru was. Catherine Ndereba's dictum "Respect the distance" echoed through my skull and I nodded absently like a dumb student to a teacher's punchline. Too dazed to focus.
I was ravished and dehydrated! But I survived without any serious injury and I didnt pass out or anything. My God. 20K is the workout to go for.
If this week goes well (as in no injuries and shit), next week I will do it AGAIN. Gaddemit. Mind over f***ing matter.
On Saturday I finished day two of week 4 of 100 pushups challenge. Thats 27+21+21+18+29 =106 pushups.
Tomorrow, day 3. Easy as pie. Relatively that is. I lost 2Kgs last week. Lets see what this week will bring.
A

Day 1 week 4. 4th sugar-free day

It went well. I am trying to ensure I do proper form push ups because the videos I have seen have very few people doing proper forms. Others shake downwards and upwards and call it a pushup etc. So patience and ensuring I don't make it easy for myself.
Several squats, calf raises and crunches along with the 27+20+20+17+29=63 pushups. I have cut out sugar and cut back on carbs and gearing for 20Km on Sunday. My legs are great so I will hack it I am sure.
Meanwhile I am looking forward to Sunday where we have a pretty good chance of getting at least two gold medals in 800m (Bungei and Kirwa) and in the Mens Marathon (Sammy Wanjiru, Luke Kibet and Martin Lel[the favorite]).
Then we could pull a silver or two in the 5000m men (Longosiwa or Kipchoge) or 5000m women (Vivian Cheruiyot). Lets see how it goes.
Cheers.

Tempo Runs and Exhaustion Test

I did 41 pushups in my exhaustion test so I begin week 4 tomorrow. I also did my tempo runs. I covered the first 1K in 4:46 - from the 5:30 of last week so I kicked the bitches ass! I was faster on the incline and I managed to do 3.5 K in 14 mins. This is a hell of an improvement from a month ago when I could only cover 2.5K in 14 mins so I am doing great. If I can push harder and cover 4K in 14 mins, I should be able to do the remaining 1K in less than 6 mins and I will have achieved my sub 20 mins 5K, which is in sight. In total, I did 7K today.
This is sugar-free day number three and I have cut back on carbs and on my portions. Time to lose some Kilos. I will take a break for two days and go for a 20K run on Sunday. That will be the longest distance I have run this year. Shudder shudder.
A quote I saw today: You have to wake up in the morning with determination in order to end the day with satisfaction.
Cheers.
A

Cleared Week 3 of 100 pushups challenge

Day 3 of week 3 is 30+22+22+20+31 (29min) = 125 pushups. I managed quite okay. I also did squats and calf raises. The legs are saying "lets go. The time to go is NOW" And I am saying to them; "Hey, Dude, settle down, will you? We will go tomorrow. Today we are resting. Comprendre?"

So tomorrow, speed runs it is. I will attempt to cover 4Kms in 15 minutes. My first K has a hill and normally takes 5mins or 5.30 mins (But tomorrow I will try to kick its ass). I can cover the next three in 3.4 to 4 mins. This should be doable considering that actual marathoners (forget pretenders like me) take 14 mins to clear 5Kms. That comes to 2.8 mins per Km. Of course, WR for 5Kms is around 12mins. Thats 2.4mins per Km. Those are people who weigh 40Kgs less than me. 40 frigging Kilograms. So I will be very happy to be a minute or two slower per Kilometer. My legs are much stronger. The soreness after a run is fading away. I may be running 4 days a week in a coupla weeks. Cheers.
A

Tempo Run. Day 1 w/o sugar

I did some temp runs. managed 3Kms in 14 minutes. Worked out for 50 minutes. I have a cold so I don't feel too great. I have decided to try cutting out sugar for a week and see if I manage.
This is day 1.
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Day 2 Week 3

27+21+21+18+29=116 push ups.
We have two silvers and two bronze medals. 3 gold medals to come.
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1hr 53Mins Run 5k in 26 Mins Week 3 day 1

I was up early. Early because I decided to up the volume of my workout. I am not losing weight as fast as I want so I am increasing the workout volume of my exercises. What that means is that I will be pursuing the 100 pushups challenge while working on my calves, quads and abs.
I started week 3 of the 100pushups program. I did an exhaustion test yesterday and managed to do 37 push ups in a set, so I am continuing with column 3. Today I did 27+19+19+15+29 = 101 pushups. Then I warmed up for 6 mins and did some sort of tempo for 5K and cleared it in 26 mins. I used my arms to propel myself and control my speed. It wasn't so bad and I think its the safest way of speeding without getting injuries. Small quick steps.
I will be doing my 5K speed test every Sunday and see whether I can manage a sub20 mins 5K. I am progressing well and I am sure this week I can slash another minute, or even two.
I am also cutting down on the quantities I eat. I will reduce my portions and cut dinner almost completely.
The distance I covered is around 17Kms. Its an estimate since I haven't measured it: I am only sure about the 5K. We will be sure about my speed when I run on the track on Sept 14. I think its great that I haven't picked an injury yet. One reason, I think is that I started early by trying to get my body into a routine of running 3 days a week on tarmac and the toe raises I have been doing for the past three weeks have strengthened my shin muscles so my tibia isn't taking all the pressure on it. Recall that I had a stress fracture Last year. I didn't know until I read more on Shin splints. The experience has made me believing shin splints are the worst injury a runner can suffer and I am ensuring I have strong shin muscles to take the stress away from my tibia by doing seated toe raises.
My legs are sore but I feel great. I should be in shape to do a recovery run on Tuesday. I would like to blaze through that same distance (17Kms or more) next week and see how I perform time wise.
Cheers.

Cleared Week Two!

I did day three of week two of the 100 pushups challenge. It was not as hard as my first attempt last week. It was 15+15+12+12+20(15minimum)=74 pushups. Legs on a break today and tomorrow.
I will do my exhaustion test tomorrow morning and then start week three on Sunday just before my long run.
Cheers.
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My face at the Last Set!

This is My face when I am doing the last set in the 100 pushups program. Nobody captures the intensity, the strain, the explosion of that last moment like Spiderman's face when he is stopping the train with his web.



Grrrrrrrrr! Ngggggggh!
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To Lick The Fresh Grave 02

Okuku is repairing a fishing net that is spread across the grass outside his house. He removes twigs and sea plants that are entangled in it and sews gaping holes in the net.
Five boys, aged between five and eight are watching him while playing nearby. One is holding the thread for Okuku. He dwarfs them like a colossus.
“Hey! Watch the goats lest they stray into the garden.” The boy holding the thread tells the other boys.
He looks at Okuku for support as the other boys ignore him and refuse to comply. But Okuku goes on working on the net, his eyes and muscular hands move quickly in concert. His muscular arms move like a machine, flinging debris and mending tears. He removes a small eel from the net and flings it away.
“A snake! A snake!” The boys shriek and jump in mock terror. Okuku’s eyes shift to them momentarily. He doesn’t shift his bulk as they run to hide behind his tree-trunk legs, away from the eel.


“It is not a not a snake. It is an eel.” Okuku says without pausing.
“Okuku, is it true that there are big snakes in the lake?” the boy holding the thread asks, squinting up at Okuku.
“No, they are few and are harmless if you do not provoke them.” Okuku says reassuringly.
“Is it true that when snakes bite someone in the lake, the victim grows scales?” another boy asks.
Okuku pauses and faces them. “Snakes avoid biting people and only do so in defense or if they are sent by a charmer to attack someone.”
“A snake charmer?” They chorus.
“A snake charmer must wear a necklace of the snakes’ skin to keep the snake under his spell.”
He sticks the threading needle on a float and picks a tendril which he wraps round his neck to illustrate the way a wizard wears the snakeskin. They look at him incredulously as if the tendril were an actual snake.
“Like this.” He explains. He notices that they have stepped back and beckons them to come closer. They warily approach him, their eyes fixed on the tendril round his neck as if it can turn to a snake anytime.
“Even when charmed, snakes avoid people unless the charms are very strong because the human psyche is too heavy for a snake and crushes a snake when it kills a human being.
This nature’s way of preserving order because a man is greater than a snake.” He says, looking into their enchanted eyes.
“And what if it bites someone – what does it do?” One of the boys ventures. Okuku lowers his voice to a whisper.

“To free itself from the weight of her victim’s psyche, the punishment for violating the order in nature, the snake has to lick the grave of her victim. It comes in the cover of darkness at night because it is weak and cannot move fast and only regains its strength and freedom after licking the grave.”

Okuku moves his hands in a snake-like motion to add drama to the narration and sticks his tongue out. He moves his eyes left and right to indicate that the snake he is portraying ensures that it is not detected.
At this point they are paying rapt attention, their boyish imaginations captured by the prospect of the snake slithering in the dark.

Okuku suddenly lurches his snaking hand at them.

“There!”

The startled boys fall down in mock horror and frantically evade Okuku’s hand as if it were an actual snake. Then they all laugh.
Okuku looks up at the gathering clouds and looks at the direction of the path to the lake. His brows furrow in concern at Ochieng’s absence as he gathers the mended net and flings it over his shoulder. He strides purposefully toward the house as the boys roll over the grass playfully.

To Be Continued Soon...

Did Day 2 and Tempo Run

Because the pain I was feeling was not affecting any major muscle or muscle group I use when running, I decided last night that I would run this morning. And I did just that. So at 4.45 (after a restless night) I was up. I first did my push ups: 16+13+11+11+16 = 62. It went well so I think I will stick to this as a strategy: pushups first then run later.
Then I warmed up for 6 mins jogging and started my tempo run. The street lighting was excellent today and no city council clown put the lights off at 5.30. I covered 3Kms in 13 minutes. This is a major improvement and it means I am approaching my 5K in Sub 20mins target. I had to spit saliva though meaning I was pretty anaerobic. Bust I managed to sustain it for 13 mins so, well...
I have some pains in my legs but I am cool with it since its a different sort of pain and different sort of muscles. So long as I don't have shin splints, any pain is welcome. At any rate, they take a couple of days max for the aches to wear off. I am resting from running for the next two days then doing my 18Kms long run on Sunday.
Cheers.
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Atonement

I just watched atonement. Atonement is a tragedy. It is set in England during the war. It ends rather emptily, when the main character, who seeks atonement, tells the audience that she made up the sad story of lovers meeting after tragic, painful, nerve-wracking separation.
Actually, there is no atonement at the end for the character who needs it. In a nutshell, atonement is the story of a teenage girl, Brownie, who has a crush with a male servant. One day, she sees him with her elder sister in an intimate moment and she gets madly jealous. One of her friends is raped and she thinks, or makes herself think that it is the maidservant who did it. The maidservant never did it. His protests of innocence are ignored against Brownies' insistent claims, given he is a servant and she is a daughter of a privileged person. The servant is in love with her older sister, Cecilia, who is equally deeply in love with him. Anyway, the servant goes to jail and Cecilia departs from her family, hurt and feeling betrayed. No one is on Cecilia's side because she is in love with a servant and nobody cares whether Brownie is saying the truth.
At any rate, he is later sent to war from prison. He exchanges letters with Cecilia and their undying love waits for the war to end so that they can be together. But he dies from a disease on the last day after the war has ended and Cecilia also dies when an underground train station id Bombed.
Meanwhile, after growing older and realizing the magnitude of her actions and the unfathomable pain she caused her sister, Brownie spends her entire life racked by guilt by too much of a chicken to go and confess. She even attends a wedding by the rapist she saw that night. She ends up dedicating her last novel to Cecilia and her lover. At this time, she is an old woman whose memories have started failing. Since she could not confess and confession is pointless now because all witnesses have died and the victims of her lies have died, she creates a happy life of fiction for Cecilia and her lover in her last novel.
Very Empty and sad. There is no atonement for Brownie and the creators of the movie end up taking away the only redeeming parts of the movie; the reunion of Cecilia and her lover. The audience is left with nothing to hang on to. Even the lies are taken away.
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Very Empty and sad. I just watched it. Leg still sore. No running tomorrow.

Restarted Week Two of 100 pushups - resting

I did day 1 of week two. I am repeating it. Day one went well. I remember I struggled in day 2 and 3. Lets see how it goes this time.
Legs still sore. Giving em a break.
I watched Michael Clayton yesterday, see Amazon Link below. Great movie. They don't give the viewers enough time to see Arthur's formidable prowess as an attorney though. The split second they give leave the audience with an impression though. The catatonic, semi-psychotic lady who organizes for Arthur's murder reminds one of the VP in PrisonBreak.

I am also reading The Richest Man in Babylon and Christopher Hitchen's God is Not Great.


Cheers people!
Do you want to Live a Long Life? Run
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I got my ASP.Net book!

I have decided to master ASP.Net programming using C# privately and to help me do this, I have received Professional ASP.NET 3.5: In C# and VB (Programmer to Programmer) (Paperback) which just arrived from Amazon. Can't wait to get to work on it.

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Recovery run 4.5Kms

Phew. Slow but legs are singing songs. Prison songs of pain and suffering. Good thing I just have sore muscles, no injury. Will see how tomorrow goes. If I am okay I will do Tempo run on Thursday. If I am not, 18Kms on Saturday. Goals will be met. We stay on schedule.

To Lick the Fresh Grave 01

This is a story I am working on. Enjoy.

Ochieng is walking back home from the farm. The path he treads is bordered by euphorbia trees and thick bush from both sides. Grass shoots crawl out from the sides of the path, snaking around the dry leaves and twigs. He is whistling and carrying a hoe over his shoulder and some fish stuck on a reed, some of which are twitching. His attention is taken by a snake that slithers onto the path before him. His eyes widen in surprise and a gasp escapes his parted lips. He stops and stands still. His eyes glued on the reptile. It is a black mamba. The rachier. It is about six feet long and dark brown in the mid section with a silvery gray head.
He waits for it to pass. When it reaches the middle of the path however, it raises its head and pauses, facing him. He is startled. His eyes move to the multi-colored spots on its pulsating throat, then to its ridged crown of scales and the double row at its tail amaze him. An uncanny dread snakes its way coldly on the back of his spine. His throat is parched. A musky dread starts enveloping him quickly and he blinks like one suddenly exposed to a bright light. There is a rustle of grass as the snake lowers its head and approaches his stationary figure.
He raises the hoe to scare it away but it surges forward boldly and he brings down his hoe directly upon its head. His blow misses its raised head and splits the earth open at the spot. The rachier ejects a short jet of venom that hits Ochieng in the eye. Sparrows chatter excitedly at the top of the nearby bushes. His hands come up reflexively to protect his eyes but it is too late.

Enterprise Architecture 101 - Notes

I attended training on Zachman Framework in 2007 and have just found some of the notes I made. I am putting them here for those that may find them useful and for posterity. Most people lack fundamentals when it comes to ZF and here are some key points to think about when considering ZF:
EA formally started in 1987 - when J. Zachman published his framework.
In the old days, the approach was first, you understand the enterprise then you develop appropriate infrastructure.
Enterprise architecture is meant to solve chronic problems, not acute problems.
EA is not a silver bullet but is about a long-term solution to chronic problems.
Envision the enterprise as a concrete thing, not as an intangible thing.
Nothing is exempt from the laws of nature, including enterprises (survival for the fittest). You have to understand the fundamentals of change and complexity so that things can be predictable.
The law of conservation of complexity states that complexity cannot evaporate: somebody has to deal with it.
Architecture is engineering and implementation is like manufacturing. The implementer/builder uses tools. The Architect uses an EF. If you start with manufacturing, you pay the price later in the form of scrap and rework.
When you start with engineering, you are creating assets for later reuse. Expense-based approach is short-term.
Architecture bridges strategy and implementation.
Analysis-->Strategy-->Architecture-->Implementation
Engineering is the primitive, manufacturing is the composite.
Before Mendelev discovered the periodic table, Chemistry was alchemy. Its the framework (periodic table) that moved it to the next level. After the P. Table, it took off.
Frederick Taylor and Walter Scheward created the Plan Do Check Act cycle and Demmings popularized it (really?)
Invention is a function of time, not personality. When the world is ready for something, it will appear.
Technology is a tool for the builder. Not for the engineer. The end object of EA is not to build systems but to engineer an enterprise.
The definition of an enterprise defines the boundary for integration. Anything outside the enterprise requires an interface (not integration).
Too small a boundary creates integration and too broad a scope creates lack of jurisdiction.
A revolution is simply the gap between the ages.
"Captain cook syndrome" is manifest when we are looking at the information age through industrial age eyes.
The ZF is not theoretical but empirical because it is derived from actual application in industry.
If you cant describe it, you cant create it.
The Key point about technology is manoeuvrebility: You have to have technology architecrure if you are to have dynamism in technology - Bernie.
A picture is worth a thousand words and a model is worth a thousand pictures. Diagrams are easier to check and are therefore better than text. Architecture is about diagrams, not text.
Start by building the most independent thing first and the dependent ones last.
When you leave the model implicit, you are making basic assumptions about it and these assumptions can hide defects and can be themselves defective.
The cost of correcting a defect increases a hundredfold as you approach maintenance.
If you dont make a model explicit, ask yourself how many assumptions you are making about it. If you dont make it explicit, you are allowing everybody to assume whatever they want about it.
Erroneous Assumptions = Defects.
A framework makes the unorganized organized and coherent but it doesnt tell us how to put the artifacts together - what does that is methodology.
A Framework gives you a point of reference.
Words are hard to understand when complexity increases. That is why we use blueprints.
Architecture only stops when the enterprise stops changing.
Architecture is not a project but a process because it is continuous.
Dont take the short-term perspective when implementing change.
Remember crash diets crash.
The plan should not be the goal. What is important is the thought process behind the goal.
If you never want to be criticized, dont do anything. If you dont do anything, you cant achieve anything - Daryl Conner.
Winners adapt, learn and respond. They view life as challenging but full of opportunities.
Automating a bad business process doesn't help anybody.
If you cannot see it on the architecture, the implementation cannot be done.
A fool with a tool is still a fool.
All goals must be SMART. If we don't have SMART goals, we cannot be smart.
Only 20% of knowledge is retained after 45-60b days. This is the knowledge decay rate.
Strategic intent is not equals to strategy.
Platitudes (statements of desire) are not goals. State the mechanism for achieving the goals.
Functions are implemented by mechanism.
Functions are developed to achieve the goals of the organization.
Think things first then write them down. Then construct the structure.
You do engineering to make each element (content of a cell in the Framework) as simple as possible.
The classification of each cell must be comprehensive and non-redundant to ensure each cell in the network is unique.
If there is no underlying structure there can be no discipline. The framework helps in this.

Did 16 Kms. Failed Exhaustion Test

I did 16 Kms yesterday in 1hr 43 Mins. My 5k pace was better: 27 mins. It was a comfortable run. I was surprisingly strong to the end. Surprising because last weekends 12Kms drained me quite a bit. I was supposed to do 14Kms but realized that I had underestimated the distance and ended up doing 16Kms. Jokes are over. Anything beyond 15K is tough as hell. And any run beyond 90 mins is taxing. Get ready to have your legs and body singing circumcision songs for the next 24 hours or more. You get up and are on the road before 6pm but when you are coming back its near 7.30 am and all the early runners have ran and gone back home. And the sun is up. And you are dehydrated and your urine is past yellow approaching orange in good company with Haematuria.
After the run, after taking three glasses of water and cornflakes and weetabix, and hot milk, I dipped my burning legs in a bucket of water with ice to cool. It is good I didn't incur an injury. Now all I need to do is add two Kms to reach 18Kms next week. Then repeat it again the week after to see if I can improve on the speed at that distance before doing 20Kms after that.
Then I may taper off a little before bouncing back with a 23Km lap on the track (53laps) on Sept 14. By then, I expect that I will be doing Sub 20 5Ks.
Today, I want to relax with some orange juice and keep raising my toes to reduce the pain on my shins and make them stronger.
I tried an exhaustion test today but was too exhausted and in no shape for that so I don't count it. I did a measly 25 push ups. Plus, I am beginning to wonder whether I should be trying this 100 push ups business when I am on my killer marathon training schedule that kicks my ass quite thoroughly.
Meh!
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Resting. Cleared day two of week two

I did the routine for day two week two for the 100 pushups program. That is 16+13+11+11+15=66 push ups. I will do the day three tomorrow and do an exhaustion test on Tuesday.
Cheers.

3Kms in 15 Mins - 5Kms Tempo Run

I think I have found my tempo! After a 6mins warm up, I cruised ahead and managed to cover 3Kms in 15 mins! This was very good news for me because it means I am not very far from my sub 20mins 5K goal. It felt good. I think my body is getting better at handling lactic acid and all the other shit that comes with quasi anaerobic activity.
On running back, I was passed by another runner who galvanized me to run faster and I tested my long strides and eventually passed him after 2.5Kms. He passed me when I was warming down. Saw some 8 runners this morning. Guys are preparing for the marathon. There is ass to be kicked my friends.
I have some pain. Its not shin splints but feels like it. Left leg. I have a liter of Orange juice that I will imbibe for the rest of the day. I will also ensure I take some protein and get some more sleep. Hopefully, these will ensure that by Sunday I am ready for 14Kms.
I did not complete the push up routine. It Was: 16+13+11+11+max(min 15). I only managed 11 in the last set yet it should be minimum 15. So I will try it again tomorrow.
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Day 1 Week 2 of 100 pushups

Did the 61 pushups, some crunches and some squats. Its a rest day after all.
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Recovery Run. End of Week 1 of 6 for 100pushups

This blog got featured in a local mens magazine called ADAM. The writer says that I write things here that can be encouraging for people training for a marathon or people interested in losing weight. This is all fine.
What took me aback is that the writer, Alan Mwendwa, describes me as "self-confessed fat Kenyan male." He also claims that I run ten Kilometers every day. Then there is a screen of my blog next to this dramatic description.
First of all, there is no such word as self-confessed. Thats a tautology, like "hot fire" or "dead corpse". The word "confession" implies that the disclosure is done by the said individual himself.
Secondly, I have never described myself as "fat". My BMI indicates that I am near overweight and I have described myself as overweight (note that BMI alone is not enough to determine this but is an indicator). Not as "fat". The word "fat" is unrefined and evokes images of some helpless victim of obesity whose self esteem has gone to hell and whose only visible feature and achievement is the "fatness."
Third, I don't run ten Kms every day. And a fat person cannot run ten Kms every day even if he/she wanted to. It would be physically impossible because the body undergoes a wear and tear when you run and there is need to have a recovery period. Most athletes have at least one day recovery period per week. The writer also says he "sees no big deal" about running. This, coupled with the fact that he is so disinterested in the blog that he thinks I run 10Kms everyday shows he is not cautious about what he writes. He never even read the blog.
Lastly, he practically plagiarized my blog. I am considering my options...
The damages I can extract from this embarrasment that is designed to deface my good standing in the society is substantial. When well-meaning people are made to think that I have descended to a soft, namby pamby jelly of fat, they will not want to be associated with me - they will probably be afraid that I will infect their lean children with the fat bug or teach them bad eating habits. Once friends start avoiding this fat, plodding lump, the social isolation will traumatize me and the losses in terms of business will be substantial. Given that I am a public figure, my ratings will plummet, and I will be consigned to the legion of the unknown like a leper. To suffer and die in isolation, a forlorn figure, one with the stones and dead leaves. And why should my otherwise happy, energetic life come to such a dark, tragic end? Because of ADAM.
I can stack all these together and slap ADAM with a lawsuit and get rich. And don't even get me started on the plagiarism.

I went for my recovery run today. I saw around 8 runners and the run was nice and easy. 40 minutes. Around 5Kms. No injuries. I am thinking the muscle groups have all probably adjusted and become stronger and can now do their job.

I also did 15+15+12+12+17=71 pushups. By the time I was doing the last 17, my eyes were bulging out under the strain. It reminded me of the scene in Spiderman when he was trying to stop a moving train with his webs (I cant find the photo).

At any rate, it was a mistake on my part because I had jumped three days ahead. What I was doing today is what I should be doing at the end of week 2. I was supposed to have been doing 15+13+10+10+15=63pushups. I consider week 1 complete though and tomorrow I will start week 2.

If this works at the end of 3 weeks, that means, if I can stand up, stretch my arms, take a deep breath, place a folded towel before me, then squat and go to the push-up position, then proceed to do 100 consecutive push ups without a break, then I will consider starting a 200 push ups or 200 crunches program which I can patent and tuck away somewhere on the web for all you fellaz to try out. I used a towel today and my knuckles spoke in tongues. This knuckles business seems destined to earn me blisters or black knuckles like those of a boxer.

Knuckles Burning. Did 12Kms long Run

I did my 12Kms yesterday. The first long run in a series of long runs that will culminate into a 26Kms (shudder, shudder) long run two weeks to the marathon. I actually covered 13.5Kms including the warmup and warmdown in 1hr 17 Minutes. My 5K pace was 29Mins and I am glad because I know I have to slash at least 10mins from that. And I think I am good for it. I also tried changing my gait - or posture if you like: I am trying to rum more upright and using my shoulders to sort of dance or swing forward like Catherine Ndereba. In this sort of motion, I try to involve my shoulders in propelling my body - as opposed to leaning forward and placing lots of load on my forelegs. I am trying this because I am suspecting that my running style could have something to do with my regular soreness after workouts. I dont know but I have friends who can run without being sore after the run. Or they are lying.

I decided to follow the One Hundred Pushups program for strength during my rest days and I have already done my day 1 and day 2 since I can do 30 pushups at a go. Its what is making my knuckles burn because I do my pushups on my knuckles. Today I did 12+12+10+10+12=56 pushups with 60seconds rest in between.
It is a six weeks program and its quite interesting because I was almost breaking to sweat by the time I was doing the last 12 pushups.


Tomorrow I will go for my recovery run. Fat will burn. Speed will increase.
Cheers.