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Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Back to the Grind

So I picked my lessons from last week and I am implementing them. Main areas are weight, mileage and proper form. Unclear to me is how I will combine mileage with intensity. I know there is a way though. I will find it. I will probably alternate high mileage weeks vs high-intensity weeks but we will see.
So far, week one has gone well. I did 18X3 making this weeks mileage 80K.
My legs were tired so the speeds were not impressive but that was kinda expected, especially considering I am trying to shed some Kilos and therefore on diet. But I tried my best. And that is all that matters.
Now I rest for the weekend grind.

Cheers

Monday, May 27, 2013

1st 2013 Group Race - Mark Blazes it

I had rested well during the week. I only did some short speed runs on Tuesday and rested the rest of the week.
I concentrated on losing/maintaining my weight, getting fresh legs and working on my core.
In a way, I felt I needed to re-evaluate my training, get a grip on my new diet regime and just wait for the group run, do it, and then see whats up.
I went to bed early and by 3am, sleep had evaporated. All I needed to do was lie in bed until 6:25, get up sip some water, do the toilet thingy, then go pick Mark at...6:45am?
After lying in bed for a few hours, I decided to get up and go get Mark instead of waiting for him, picking him at 5:50, arriving at 6:20 and starting at 6:30 in a rush then getting baked by the sun from 30minutes into the run.
Mark was game and I picked him kitu 5:20, we were home by 5:45, we were able to chill, do the toilet thingy and even warm up with GK. By about 6:05, we were off!

Okay, I had warmed up and I had carbo-loaded the previous day.

If you have not spent five consecutive days eating 30% of carbs in your meals then consumed carbs 90% of your meals in one day, believe me, you DONT KNOW what carbo-loading is and what it can do. Lets just say its like taking drugs. For dinner, I just drank uji and took plain rice. No meat, no beans, none o that shit. You freakin get turbo-charged!

Aanyways, I took the lead on the first uphill.
Mark took over at about 1.3Kms. I looked back.
We had already lost GK.
This early?
Anyways, the first 1k was in about 4:50.
The second one was in 4:29 or something.
Mark was going quite fast. But I knew I am equally fast so I decided to just hang with him. Plus, he had done some long runs during the week so he should be tired.
I knew that I had fresh legs and I knew that I was well rested and well hydrated and I was not worried about crashing and burning. Bring it on. I had decided that since I was well-rested, I was gonna just ran fast then use my heart and determination to push the rest of the distance. Plus, as my friend Rob Watson says, you gotta spice up shit a bit now and then and take chances. I was not throwing the race away, I just wasn't gonna be cloaked by caution. Let me float!
By this time, I had stopped looking back for GK. Only a madman could stay with us. I figured GK was probably running his own race and had stuck to a conservative pace.

So going downhill, we did some crazy speeds. My garmin has 4:09 and 4:00 for Kms 3 and 4. At Kms 5, I slowed down a bit because it was getting a bit crazy. Mark stayed ahead. In any case, even slowing down was slowing down to 14Kms/hr.
I just followed. But he also seemed to have slowed because despite my slowing down, the gap didnt widen up fast.
After slowing down in the 6th Km, when we were approaching Tmall, Mark maintained but I had all along planned to make a little snack out of that Tmall downhill since I knew it was going to kick my ass on the way back. So I flew past Mark hogging that hill like a kid on a new bike.
Mark also stuck with me. While approaching 8k, he urged me to keep that same pace until 10K.
I had the energy and the speed, so why not? Let me show you how it is done.
I flew past the Nyayo stadium traffic crossing, taking full advantage of my luminous top.
While approaching city Stadium, Mark was breathing on my shoulder, I looked at my garmin and we were cruising at 15Kms/hr. Mark told me we were going too fast and should slow down or we were gonna burst into flames.
So I slowed down and he crossed to the other side of Landhes road and I stayed on the left. We went past Muthurwa and Jiam and past Times Tower.
Thats when I started struggling and stomach cramps came. Right in the middle of my stomach.
When I started going up the community hill, that's when I lost sight of Mark - right when I was beginning 14k. I had crossed 13K in 59minutes so I was happy with that.
The cramps changed everything. I tried walking. Pressing them. Clenching my teeth while running. Running slowly. Nothing.
So I ended up walking and running. On and on. Teeth clenched, to the finish.
My time was atrocious. Lets not even go there. We don't want our children to laugh.
After the run, we had a hearty breakfast - more of a celebration and took some pics that we will look at when we are old, gnarly and or fat. Though fat people generally die early. So if we are old, we will probably be gnarly, incoherent and toothless.

But what Mark did was shocking. 1:53 on such a crazy course? And to do a 21K PR on such a course? Unbelievable.
That is just amazing. After starting at such a breakneck speed, its amazing that he managed to go on and still run strong to the finish. That is testimony to him being a strong runner. It means all he needed was a (crazy) pacesetter for him to do something amazing.
So, there are several lessons for me from that race. There isnt adequate space here to document them. Lets just say huuuuge room for improvement. Lots of work to do.
I need to lose weight urgently because if I am to switch to road-running, I need to have weight that wont result in frequent injuries for me.
And I need to increase my mileage and do more road running so that I can run on rolling terrains.
The greatest thing for the three of us is that we SHOWED UP for the race and competed. That is the most important thing in my view.
I start increasing my mileage this week. Weight loss regime continues. I am targeting 76K by Monday next week.
The only sad thing is my groin injury is still giving me grief. It reaaaly sucks. I just hope it doesnt get worse. I have lived with it for almost three months now.
Really.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Takin it easy

I did some speed play yesterday. For the first time in several years, I sprinted properly. And I achieved my max speed to date.
I did not do well-timed 100k splits but I reached a max speed of 25.1Km/hr. I have never reached a max speed of that kind. That translates to 13s for 100m. The best I have ever done is 18s for 100m. Maybe I will try well timed 100m splits sometime in June and find out what my fastest 100m is when I sprint.
For now, I have some niggles in my knees, calves and groin that some days of rest should be able to sort.
And I need fresh legs.
Meanwhile, I did day 13 of the 30 day ab challenge today. 60 situps 75 crunches 40 leg raises 50s plank.
I was not sure about the crunches so I found this video showing how to do them properly. It seems I had it right after all. For the leg raises, planks and situps, we are good.

Cheers,
A



Sunday, May 19, 2013

Testing Group Run route - 24.67 in 2:03


My strategy was to run boldly.

I did. I did not do very well but I will take it.

The hills kicked my butt but I am not too worried. They didn't kick them too hard and I didn't give 100% coz there was nobody pushing/pulling me. I will work on hills in another month or so.

My focus in the next 30 days or so is to go down to 75-76Kgs and thereby do 27K in 2 hours on flat and 26k in 2 hours on our hilly route.
Right now, so many things are going right and I am so excited!

1. I am not injured and my groin injury is 90% healed. This means it is not such a big factor now.

2. I have lost about 2Kgs since I stopped taking sugar and I am now at 88Kgs. I hope to reach 77Kgs by the end of the week. If I can reach 75-76Kgs by 10th June, I will be able to talk 27K in 2 hours and consequently 14Kms in 1 hour and sub 20mins 5k by end of June. I have been following the Get fit with Blake brigade of "Drink a glass of water then click Like" mantra. So, less portions, no bread, no sugar.

3. The 30 day ab challenge is good! Very serious and challenging. I am on day 11 tomorrow. I am looking forward to meeting the challenge it presents. Can't freaking wait!

Without further ado, here are the splits.

1    5:08.8       
2    4:54.1       
3    4:26.0       
4    4:16.0       
5    4:34.2       
6    4:40.4       
7    4:30.4       
8    4:42.4       
9    4:35.3       
10    4:50.7       
11    4:35.5       
12    5:02.5       
13    4:53.5       
14    5:22.8       
15    5:45.4       
16    5:06.9       
17    4:27.6       
18    4:35.4       
19    5:22.0       
20    5:29.2       
21    5:41.7       
22    6:09.8       
23    5:45.5       
24    4:59.8       
25    3:21.9       
Cheers fellaz! Keep running. Drink a glass of water before closing this page.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Balancing Act

My shins were aching and my legs remained wasted after the 1:36:36 21K. Yesterday I went to the field to do speed runs. My legs still felt like rubbish but I tried to put them through the workout and they did rubbish.
So I did 200m X 10 and banked it.
Amazingly, they and I, felt much better after the run. Amazing.
Anyways, its been long since I did sprints so this was a good break.
Today is day three without sugar. I just wanted to do one day cold turkey and see how it goes and I have realized I can do it every day.
Its a blaast! Weight is responding.
Abs challenge I am on day 9. The genius that made the programme has suddenly gone crazy on the crunches.
I discovered some very nice running blogs.
Cheers guys




Tuesday, May 14, 2013

21K in 1:36:37 - Sugar-Free days

Today I did day 6 of the 30 day ab challenge. Wah! Its not exactly a walk in the park as I thought.

I have decided that I wont be taking any sugary stuff, or processed stuff with sugar like bread on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays. So my weight wants war? We will see who wins.

Yesterday, the sun was shining when I reached the field so I was worried about dehydration. But I wanted to test my fearless, strong core self. So why not attempt a sub 1:36 21k or die? I had realized, from marks Sunday run, that he was more fearless and was able to tap into the 4:2xs, unlike me, so I decided to be courageous yesterday and see what happens. I inadvertently messed my garmin settings and removed the distance alert. I did 7k in 31:31, 14k in 1:03:25, 18k in 1:22:xx then deteriorated to 21k in 1:36:37. I will take it. Thank you very much. Keep workin guys.

The Garmin treated the entire 21K as one lap so I had to use the replay button and stop at the distances to get the times. I deteriorated particularly in the last 7K but lesson learnt and I am glad I pushed myself. What is even more joyful is that my groin muscle has greatly improved and I no longer have to limp in pain after my workouts as I have been doing in the last several weeks.
At any rate, this is now my PB. I may revisit it next week with renewed vigor.

Here goes:

TIME___1k SPLIT__7KSPLITS

1 4:43_____4:43
2 9:04_____4:21
3 13:48____4:42
4 18:08____4:52
5 22:32____4:26
6 27:00____4:28
7 31:27____4:27_____31:27
8 35:55____4:28
9 40:21____4:26
10 44:46___4:25
11 49:30___4:44
12 54:00___4:30
13 58:40___4:40
14 1:03:29_4:49_____32:02
15 1:08:05_4:36
16 1:12:45_4:40
17 1:17:34_4:49
18 1:22:23_4:51
19 1:27:20_4:53
20 1:32:10_4:50
21 1:36:36_4:24____33:07

Monday, May 13, 2013

30 day ab challenge

I am taking it up. I started with Day 3 and have done day 5 today.
Am gonna be a monster.
Cheers

Sunday, May 12, 2013

31K - Time to become bold and bring the hammer down

This was a non-eventful run. Compared to last Sunday, I was better over the first 21k and 25K where I improved by a minute in both cases. I was more courageous yesterday. And it was great to be back to my old self.

This time, I started deteriorating at 17K from where my pace became semi-decent. Then it became atrocious from 25k. I had a stitch bothering me so I jogged home to 31K.

I will take it.

Now that we have got the basic strength over 32K, It is time to go back to the basic idea.

The 32K was to help me with weight loss, give me strong legs and enable me to be fast over the distance - by having legs that don't fatigue over 21K.

But it was not to be my specialty.

I have decided to keep running 32Ks but to change my approach:

I will attack it from the bottom.

BOLDLY.

Fuck caution.

You know,

From Jan 2013, I had decided to be attacking the distance until I cannot attack anymore, then hanging on to the end. This approach was intended to stress my system and over time, my system is expected to adapt.

Until stomach cramps one day screwed me very badly at 16K one day and I stubbornly walked home for the remaining 16k even though I had cash and could have taken a mat home.

But, unbeknown to me, the damage was done.

Fear was induced in my mind.

I have since been approaching the 32k with respect and focusing on my overall time. The result of that? Logging in several slow successive miles.

Is that what we want?

Noooooo!

Hence, back to the basics. As you can see below, it is from 17k that things started going south. So what do we do?

Next week I aim at 19k minimum. Within no time, I will be talking 28k etc etc.

Quality.

Quality.

Quality. The distance between when the quality ends and the 32K will be my aerobic excercise. I still believe running on the hills when my legs are tired and running the distance is good for me. So I will stick to the 32K and keep doing those hills albeit at slow speeds.

The other thing I want to do is push harder during the intervals. Keep it at 12k but harder.
And faster tempo runs. Push hard. Rest. Repeat.

I am happy to announce that my groin injury is so much better and yesterday I did not limp so much after the run. I will just keep working on it.

To ensure I have a strong core, I will be working on my core every morning 4 days a week as per the following program. Now that I know my core was the cause of my cramps and my injury, I will work on my core as I go boldly.




Split
 Time






1
__5:23.2


2
4:57.7


3
4:35.7


4
4:19.2


5
4:37.9


6
4:39.2


7
4:36.0


8
4:46.9


9
4:44.5


10
4:46.8


11
4:41.8


12
4:44.0


13
4:43.6


14
4:37.8


15
4:47.6


16
4:45.4


17
5:02.5


18
5:03.6


19
4:57.5


20
4:57.1


21
5:02.8


22
5:20.2


23
5:21.9


24
5:21.6


25
5:44.5



Mark has now set the new record of 1:59:51 in 26 kms and 21K in 1:36:14. Thats an inspiring goal to look at and chip away at. The sooner the better. Why wait?
Cheers.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

23k in 1:46:07

I had to kinda skive work to make this happen. Sorry boss.

The weather was perfect although it was threatening to rain. From the low turnout at the field, several people didn't show up because of that threat of a downpour.
I had taken three days off running. The last 32k left me a shell. My legs didn't feel sturdy and I was tired. If I didn't know better, I would have thought I was suffering from over-training.
So I took three days off. During two of these three days, I walked home to improve blood circulation and hasten recovery of my legs from that punishing 32k.

I have also been working on my core. The first properly timed plank (on my elbows) took 1:10. I am now doing crunches and targeting my lower abs, and the PSOAS - whatever that means.
The groin pain has improved but its definitely alive and well. And quite debilitating.
Initially, I wanted to do a hard 90mins run but I decided, why not do a fast one and see how it goes? In fact, why not extend it to 21k?

That decision was easy to make. I had time and I was well hydrated.
And so I started. It was not that hard, in fact, several times, I had to consciously slow myself down when I saw that I was moving at 15km/hr or more. I only started putting in serious effort from 17k.

The public service track is not flat (see profile below - its up and down 4m) and at 17k when I was going downhill, I caught myself allowing my shoulders to swing in a wide arc and I could feel that swing reaching my stomach muscles! That is what was causing my cramps!

So I held my torso in place and only allowed my arms to swing up and down, up and down as opposed to swinging in front of my body and back (shoulders).

My speed even picked up slightly because of my proper form! In fact, the 19th k was the fastest as a result.
It went well, I could have managed a 2 hours 26k if I maintained the pace for the next 3kays.
Unless I suffer from the Bekele problem (Bekele has been a monster on the track but has had problems transitioning to the road, where the big bucks lie), I should be approaching that sub 2:30 32K soon.
I really wanted to do hill runs this weekend. But I am also so tempted to give the 32K another stab at the same time just to satisfy my curiosity.

I will decide tomorrow.


In retrospect, last Sunday was just a bad day for me. I was capable of a much, much better performance than what I executed.
What is NOTEWORTHY, ladies and gentlemen, is that I maintained an almost perfect split time between the 7Kays. meaning I did not slow down over the 21k distance. In fact, I did negative splits! I have the 32K to thank for that: strong legs, stamina, aerobic power and ultimately, the toynization* of the 21k.

The 7k negative Splits
DISTANCE__TIME__7k SPLIT TIME
7K_________32:29___32:29
14K________1:04:42__32:13
21K________1:36:48__32:06

All the splits below

Total Time:    1:46:07
Calories:     2036
Avg speed:    13:0 Km/hr
Distance:    23:05Km

Split    Time    Distance Time Markers
1    4:35   
2    4:41    
3    4:43   
4    4:35   
5    4:34_____23:12   
6    4:41    
7    4:35_____32:29   
8    4:33   
9    4:44   
10    4:39_____46:27   
11    4:37    
12    4:30
13    4:32   
14    4:34_____1:04:42   
15    4:43    
16    4:35   
17    4:35_____1:18:27    
18    4:36    
19    4:29    
20    4:40    
21    4:33_____1:36:48    
22    4:37   
23    4:42_____1:46:07    

Keep running. I am a runner!
*I made that up. To Toynize is to make small, like a toy.

Hostile Dependency



I try to learn something every day. Today, I just learnt about hostile dependency, which is an interesting phenomenon. I never knew such a term even existed.

Definition of Hostile Dependency

It manifests itself in a relationship when one partner feels they ‘need’ the other person, while at the same time, because they have unhealthy behaviors that they cannot control, they act in a manner that hurts the other person. The hostile dependent person believes that they emotionally, economically, socially and physically depend on the other person and are entitled to that dependency.

Signs of Hostile Dependency

Dr Wolters says “Instead of talking out their feelings, hostile-dependent partners act them out. An example of acting out may be throwing a dish when you are really hurt and angry at your partner. Typically, partners in a hostile-dependent relationship:”

• don’t share their needs or vulnerabilities
• push each other away but demand nurturance
• don’t see the other partner as a separate person (clinginess and control)
• express hurt and anger in verbal and physical attacks
• resort to name-calling when upset
• walk out on fights
• aren’t able to function independently in the marriage

Dr. Stein writes that, “For one thing, the neediness of the hostile dependent individual can establish an unhealthy basis for the relationship from the start. In effect, the unwritten “contract” between the two parties will require that one does the helping and the other receives the comfort, with little reciprocal responsibility. This inequity risks eventual “burn out” in the caretaker and possible frustration that the damaged friend is not improving fast enough.”

Some who are in the role of a “friend/helper” find that their own needs are perpetually postponed and that their efforts to provide solace will be seen as an entitlement and therefore unappreciated. Indeed, even if the altruistic partner receives gratitude early in the relationship, such appreciation often fades.
Sometimes, in fact, the connection between the two people morphs into a “hostile dependency,” where the person receiving the assistance resents the fact that he cannot function without his comrade.

Origins of Hostile Dependency

It starts from childhood. Dr Tara explains that “Children rely on their parents for their care and safety needs. Good enough parents do their best to respond to their children’s needs while teaching them how to meet their own needs as developmentally appropriate.”
But, Tara explains, “not all parents are “good enough.” Some parents shame their children or become angry/frustrated/impatient with them for expressing wants and needs.
When a parent punishes a child or tells them that they’re bad/selfish/demanding/inconvenient for expressing needs and feelings, the message is: It’s unacceptable to have needs and feelings and to depend upon me. Since most children actively avoid parental disapproval, these kids intuitively find indirect ways to get their needs met.

A child who has to disavow or mask their needs and feelings from a parent eventually develops an ever-growing anger and resentment. Since it’s especially unsafe to directly express anger and resentment toward their parent(s), these children often develop passive-aggressive behaviors and attachment issues.”

So what happens then? Dr. Tara explains that “adults who weren’t able to get their needs met directly, who didn’t have parents teach them how to self-soothe and who were made to feel bad, guilty or ashamed about being dependent upon their parents, bring these leftover childhood issues into their adult relationships. In more extreme cases, these issues are manifested in personality disorders and other emotional disturbances.”

Hostile dependent people do not understand interdependence, they only understand dependence. What is the difference? Dr. Tara explains that “Interdependence is a dynamic of being mutually and physically responsible to, and sharing a common set of principles with others. This concept differs distinctly from “dependence,” which implies that each member of a relationship cannot function or survive apart from one another. In an interdependent relationship, all participants are emotionally, economically, ecologically and/or morally self-reliant while at the same time responsible to each other.”

Tara explains that “A woman stuck in hostile dependency maps her unhappy childhood, dependency needs and anger about not having every single need met, no matter how small, onto her partner and/or her ex-partner. She is inappropriately dependent on her partner/ex while simultaneously furious about her self-imposed dependency. This kind of woman casts her intimate partners and ex-intimate partners into a parental role.”


The doctor explains that HD persons are, “emotionally speaking, children in adult bodies. They’re stuck in a state of arrested development on a continuum of infancy to snide, bitchy, ungrateful teenager. This kind of woman-child doesn’t know how to meet her own needs, that is, if she even knows what her needs are. Many of these women are ambulatory masses of unmet, unnamed needs.”

Tara says that “This woman is very much the infant who uses the same distress cry for wet diaper, physical pain, “Validate meeeeeee!” and, “Pick me up, I’m bored!” Every need and want, no matter how trivial, is experienced and expressed with the same extreme urgency…She wants total financial and emotional support, blind loyalty and unconditional love—especially when her behavior is horrid and abusive…They’re obnoxious, contemptible and abusive. In her mind, it’s your job to provide her with the unconditional love mommy and daddy didn’t provide and/or the over-indulgent, permissive, no accountability, “you’re wonderful and special” parenting that created this overgrown child.”

Arrested Development and Anger

“During adolescence, parents help teens individuate into autonomous, responsible adults. Meaning that teens stop attributing their difficulties to parents and others and begin to assume responsibility for their own actions (Bios, 1968). The other developmental tasks of adolescence are identity/personality formation and consolidation, separating from parents, sexual maturation and sexual identity formation, and mature time perspective (Buhler, 1968; Neugarten, 1969). Identity consolidation is “a process of investing oneself in new adult roles, responsibilities, and contexts and evaluating one’s ongoing experience in order to construct a coherent, grounded, and positive identity” (Pals, JL, 1999). Mature time perspective involves “being able to foresee the future implications of [one's] present behaviors and envisage how [one's] present behavior can serve the attainment of future goals” (Simons, Vansteenkiste, Lens and Lacante, 2004).

These are essential developmental milestones that many HCP (high-conflict) and abusive personality disordered individuals (histrionic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, etc.) fail to achieve at the age appropriate time. If you’re dealing with a woman whose hostile dependency is part of a personality disorder or personality disorder traits, I don’t know if it’s possible to successfully navigate this developmental task in adulthood.”

The telltale sign of hostile dependency is the anger it generates, in both the dependent person and the person depended upon. Most ex-husbands are incredibly angry and resentful about having to financially support their ex-wives—grown adults who either refuse to support themselves or who erroneously believe they’re entitled to a better lifestyle than they can generate on their own. This is also evident in husbands who have to play nursemaid to their wives’ every emotional need and/or are stuck shouldering the entire financial burden in their families because their wives refuse to work.

Given that these women project their unresolved mommy and daddy issues onto their partners/ex-partners/children, it makes sense that they feel entitled to ungodly amounts of lifetime spousal support/attention/time/special treatment/etc.

Unfortunately, since these women’s parents failed to teach them how to self-soothe, to be responsible for their choices, to have empathy, to experience consequences for their choices and raise them into responsible adults, we’re stuck with these perpetual greedy infants, terrible two-sters and arrogant, nasty adolescents. Worse yet, these women-children are passing their dysfunction on to the next generation.”

Solutions to Hostile Dependency
1.      Contain Your Anger
2.      Take a Time-out for Healthy Action
3.      Make Healthy Fighting Agreements –
a.       Take turns listening to each other
b.      Talk out their feelings
c.       Focus on one topic
d.      Paraphrase what the other has said
e.       Ask good questions to facilitate understanding
Avoid the furious four” fighting tactics:
1.      Name-calling
2.      Threatening divorce
3.      Throwing or hitting things
4.      Walking out on a fight
4.      4. Learn to Apologize

SOURCES  
http://drgeraldstein.wordpress.com/tag/hostile-dependency/
http://www.shrink4men.com/2011/06/07/hostile-dependency-is-your-wife-girlfriend-or-ex-a-child-masquerading-in-the-body-of-a-woman/
http://www.marriageadvice.com/2012/the-anger-dependent-marriage/