This blog got featured in a local mens magazine called ADAM. The writer says that I write things here that can be encouraging for people training for a marathon or people interested in losing weight. This is all fine.
What took me aback is that the writer, Alan Mwendwa, describes me as "self-confessed fat Kenyan male." He also claims that I run ten Kilometers every day. Then there is a screen of my blog next to this dramatic description.
First of all, there is no such word as self-confessed. Thats a tautology, like "hot fire" or "dead corpse". The word "confession" implies that the disclosure is done by the said individual himself.
Secondly, I have never described myself as "fat". My BMI indicates that I am near overweight and I have described myself as overweight (note that BMI alone is not enough to determine this but is an indicator). Not as "fat". The word "fat" is unrefined and evokes images of some helpless victim of obesity whose self esteem has gone to hell and whose only visible feature and achievement is the "fatness."
Third, I don't run ten Kms every day. And a fat person cannot run ten Kms every day even if he/she wanted to. It would be physically impossible because the body undergoes a wear and tear when you run and there is need to have a recovery period. Most athletes have at least one day recovery period per week. The writer also says he "sees no big deal" about running. This, coupled with the fact that he is so disinterested in the blog that he thinks I run 10Kms everyday shows he is not cautious about what he writes. He never even read the blog.
Lastly, he practically plagiarized my blog. I am considering my options...
The damages I can extract from this embarrasment that is designed to deface my good standing in the society is substantial. When well-meaning people are made to think that I have descended to a soft, namby pamby jelly of fat, they will not want to be associated with me - they will probably be afraid that I will infect their lean children with the fat bug or teach them bad eating habits. Once friends start avoiding this fat, plodding lump, the social isolation will traumatize me and the losses in terms of business will be substantial. Given that I am a public figure, my ratings will plummet, and I will be consigned to the legion of the unknown like a leper. To suffer and die in isolation, a forlorn figure, one with the stones and dead leaves. And why should my otherwise happy, energetic life come to such a dark, tragic end? Because of ADAM.
I can stack all these together and slap ADAM with a lawsuit and get rich. And don't even get me started on the plagiarism.
I went for my recovery run today. I saw around 8 runners and the run was nice and easy. 40 minutes. Around 5Kms. No injuries. I am thinking the muscle groups have all probably adjusted and become stronger and can now do their job.
I also did 15+15+12+12+17=71 pushups. By the time I was doing the last 17, my eyes were bulging out under the strain. It reminded me of the scene in Spiderman when he was trying to stop a moving train with his webs (I cant find the photo).
At any rate, it was a mistake on my part because I had jumped three days ahead. What I was doing today is what I should be doing at the end of week 2. I was supposed to have been doing 15+13+10+10+15=63pushups. I consider week 1 complete though and tomorrow I will start week 2.
If this works at the end of 3 weeks, that means, if I can stand up, stretch my arms, take a deep breath, place a folded towel before me, then squat and go to the push-up position, then proceed to do 100 consecutive push ups without a break, then I will consider starting a 200 push ups or 200 crunches program which I can patent and tuck away somewhere on the web for all you fellaz to try out. I used a towel today and my knuckles spoke in tongues. This knuckles business seems destined to earn me blisters or black knuckles like those of a boxer.